Once again, I feel like I have no one to confide in with this one. I just need to get it off my chest.

Over a month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. It's not that the love died, it's just that I couldn't stand the constant battle between my heart and my mind. You see, I'm a Christian, and he's Jewish. When my mother found out about this, her words were something like, "How could you even think about going out with someone who doesn't believe in Jesus the saviour?!" and, "It's never going to work! You can't date someone that worships so differently that you!"

But I never in the least bit blamed my mother for thinking those things. She was only trying to protect me, like only a mother would. But even when I didn't care what she said at first, the love and respect I had for my mother continued to eat away at me inside to the point where I couldn't eat or sleep. I thought breaking up with him would make it all go away. I told him that I couldn't continue to go out with him because our religions were so different, and the respect I had for my mother caused me to defend her until the end.

But I couldn't stop thinking about him after that. I realized that I might have not only broken his heart, but mine too. Then, a lot of other things happened and I became even more depressed. Even though he claimed he love me, I had never really experienced a relationship like that one, so I didn't know if i was love or not. But now, I think I understand why it is that even though we're not together anymore, I still get butterflies and blush everytime I see him.

I love him.

But I feel if I tell him that I made a mistake is breaking up with him, I'll feel like a selfish whore who can't make up her mind. There have been all kinds of rumors going around about me now. People calling me a nazi-whore and a jew-hater. What if the rumors get worse if I accually get back together with him? I want him to know how I really feel, but for some reason I'm hesitant to just tell him upright.

I really don't know what to do.
Thank you for comments.